THE SQUID AND THE WHALE

Writer/Director Noah Baumbach tells a thinly veiled story of his parents’ divorce, and the result is a good example of why autobiographical films work so rarely. The end result is a lot like sitting through your neighbor's vacation videos, only in this case you hate your neighbor. While it's admirable that Baumbach writes his characters with all their flaws because at heart he loves them, we’re given no reason to love or even care about this disintegrating family. The plot is connected only because it’s chronological, and the ending seems tacked on mainly because there is so little narrative to most of the film that dragging one in for the final few minutes rings false.

All that said, the movie’s not a complete disaster. The actors are uniformly superb (especially Laura Linney, who seems unable to turn in a poor performance wherever she appears), and there are some truly funny, unconventional moments. Still, the end result is uncomfortable, which is fine if it also offers some insight. The Squid and the Whale never even comes close.

NO (4/10)

WE ARE THE STRANGE

M. Dot Strange’s first feature, “We Are the Strange” is wildly inventive and endlessly fascinating. Its animation (both computer generated and stop-motion) is never content to present one image (or style) at a time, giving viewers a near overload of excitement. The plot consists of little more than two outcasts trying to buy ice cream and ending up in a battle to prevent the end of the world, but the story here is nearly beside the point. Love it or hate it, any movie lover will see this as a sign both of what movies may look like in the future and as an announcement of a stunningly original voice in filmdom.

YES (8/10)

HAND IN HAND

In a story extremely reminiscent of 2006’s “Right At Your Door,” a young couple in the city must quarantine themselves in their house to guard against a threat outside. In “Right Outside Your Door,” a dirty bomb in Los Angeles gives a real sense of tension and panic. In “Hand in Hand,” a smallpox outbreak in New York gives nothing more than the opportunity to watch the couple whine, fight, and cry for an hour and a half. Dark, boring visuals and amateurish audio further detract from the movie. It’s the dialogue, though, that’s the real killer. Being quarantined with people this numbingly shallow makes you wish more than anything to break out of their house, smallpox be damned.

NO (1/10)

FACADE

The greatest compliment to this film is that, despite its amazingly low $7000 budget, it plays not as a hobby or student film but as simply another movie vying for an audience. When reviewed as such, Facade suffers in many respects. The quality of acting swings wildly (why not call for another take when an actor flubs a line?), art school symbolism runs rampant, and numerous shots have a stylized look that jars from the realistic tone of the film.

The story here, “inspired by true events,” is that of a group of kids in their late teens do a lot of drugs at Harry’s house. Harry recently lost his father to suicide, and the drugs and interrelationship’s between the four guests at his party ultimately cause Harry to follow his father’s footstep’s and hang himself. It’s all rather bleak, obviously, but there are more than a few nice, funny exchanges between characters. The film plays out in real time (so that it essentially chronicles the final 89 minutes of Harry’s life). While this works on many levels, it also forces the writer/director to cram as much drama as possible into one night. With so many backstories coming to the surface in such a short amount of time, Facade loses some of the reality that is otherwise its saving grace.

As an example of what can be done with a tiny budget and no-name actors, Facade deserves high praise. Perhaps unfortunately, it does that so well that it rises to become only a less than average rental.

MAYBE SO (4/10)

A DOG'S BREAKFAST

Ostensibly a comedy, A Dog’s Breakfast offers zero funny moments (though the actors at times seem to be pausing for a laugh track). It also neglects to develop its characters, fails to offer even a semblance of originality, and squanders any goodwill it manages to muster. Simply put, the movie seems to exist for the sole purpose of making any alternative to it look better.

See, there’s this guy who hates his sister’s fiancee, decides to kill him, then has to hide the body. Except he has no reason to hate the guy. He has no incentive to kill him. He doesn’t murder him but takes credit for the accident that kills him. Except the guy doesn’t seem to really be dead. And his sister doesn’t seem to care either way. And neither will you, see? But that’s okay because there are so gosh darn many jokes. Except they aren’t funny. At all.

A Dog’s Breakfast does feature a cute dog. He should fetch himself a better agent.

NO (1/10)

FROZEN DAYS

Frozen Days pulls off the trick of being extremely creepy without being gory, scary, or even very suspenseful. Like a fine Twilight Zone episode, this Israeli film makes the utmost use of mood, lighting, and sparseness. It doesn’t hurt the film, of course, that it happens to star one of the most beautiful women any audience will ever see.

Anat Klausner stars as Miao, a drug dealing apartment squatter who meets a man named Alex in an internet chat room. The two meet without seeing each other’s faces (his power is out), and have a playful, sexually charged encounter. Miao bolts when the lights go on, then entices Alex into meeting her at a nightclub. When a suicide bomber blows up the club, Miao narrowly escapes. Alex is not so lucky. What follows is a puzzle of sorts, in which memory, identity, and reality are all liquid and malleable. Like the best Twilight Zone episodes, only the star is aware that something is terribly, terribly off.

The movie plays in black and white (besides a memorable sequence in color), which adds to an unrelenting creepiness that is spoiled only by occasional shots so brazenly artsy that they come across as laughable. The pacing, too, is detrimental to the film - Frozen Days is only 91 minutes but feels at times much longer. Still, it’s often fascinating to see how (and if) the pieces of this puzzle will come together.

MAYBE SO (6/10)

FULL GROWN MEN

Middle-aged Alby refuses to grow up, and his wife is tired of the games. After a fight, Alby leaves his wife and young son to return to his childhood home, where he can be a kid again without the pressures of the real world. Of course we know that Alby will give up his action figures and take on some responsibility by the end of the movie, but it should be a mild pleasure to watch the formula play out as he gets there.

Unfortunately, Full Grown Men can’t decide if it wants to be touching, slapstick, witty, or a collection of cameos, so it tries them all out along the way. The result is a comedy without any real laughs, a coming-of-age tale in which no one grows up. The premise could have grown into a fine film, but it’s never allowed to mature.

NO (3/10)

BLOOD CAR

In the near future, when gas has hit $35.00 a gallon, no one can afford to drive. No one, that is, except Archie, who has modified a car to run on blood. His invention leads to a killing spree. Sound like an update of ‘Little Shop of Horrors’? The filmmakers avoid repetition by adding swear words, nudity, golden showers, close-ups of bodily fluids, mass amounts of blood, and the killing of dogs, disabled veterans, and kindergarteners. Critics often talk of ‘gross-out’ humor, but the movies they describe are bible pamphlets compared with this one. Yes, it’s extremely funny at times, but you’ll likely hate yourself with every laugh.

- for teenage boys - YES (9/10)
- for everyone else - NO (4/10)

MONSTER CAMP

In Seattle, a large group of people gather for one weekend every month to play a live action role-playing game at an event called Nero. They dress as wizards, lizards, gnomes, and creatures they’ve invented to battle with harmless swords and throw beanbags (potions) at one another.

Amazingly, director Cullen Hoback mostly manages to avoid playing the participants for laughs and instead looks at the outcasts as a family. Most of the interest here is in seeing a world we didn’t previously know existed, but the movie really succeeds when it gives insight into the things we know well, like belonging, ambition, the politics of organizations, and fantasy.

MAYBE SO (6/10)

BIGGA THAN BEN

Cobakka and Spiker, two kids from Moscow, “come to London to rip it off.” Days after arriving, they are homeless and working toward a bank scam involving overdraft protection and bad checks. Sadly (for them), getting a bank account in the first place requires identification, an address, and proof of employment. As the two slink around London making friends and enemies, their own lifelong friendship begins to feel the strain of their situation.

This could all play horrible and trite, but director Suzie Halewood is unafraid to make her characters brash and often unlikable in an attempt to keep the movie true (helping is that the film is based not only on a true story but on the co-authored diary by its protagonists). There are titles, subtitles, animation, and surprising cinematography at every turn, but the non-showy performances give the movie the intimacy of a documentary. Unfortunately, there are also moments that simply don’t work (like Spike Lee-ish political rants to the camera). In a movie that fires on so many cylinders, though, a few misfires can’t stall the engine.

MAYBE SO (7/10)

JUST SEX AND NOTHING ELSE

Though it’s certainly entertaining, it’s difficult to find more to say about this Hungarian film than ‘think ‘Sex and the City’ with subtitles.’ That statement pretty much sums it up in this story of a woman who (based almost solely on seeing some cute kids in the park) decides she wants to have a child. She doesn’t want to mess with a relationship, though, as hers seem to fail every time. Who, then, will father her child? The funny deli worker? The stable but unglamorous musician? Or will it be the man who’s a dead ringer for Mr. Big, the character Carrie Bradshaw ends up with on ‘Sex and the City’? And will she be able to stop herself from falling in love? You can probably guess.

NO (4/10)

THE PRINCE OF SOAP

Ilona Varis accidentally walks into an interview to write for a soap opera, gets the job, and falls in love with the star in this Cinequest feature from Finland. And while that sounds trite, it becomes engaging and often hilarious in the first half of the film. The second half, on the other hand, spirals into an unbelievable mess of forced absurdity, ridiculous revelations, cliché, and the most inexplicable homage to ‘The Graduate’ ever put to film. Forty five minutes into the movie, ‘The Prince of Soap’ had earned itself a 9/10. Forty five minutes later, its rating - yes, like soap bubbles - trickled slowly down the drain.

NO (4/10)

THE NAMESAKE

Certainly overlong at two hours, and with a couple strikingly clunky moments, ‘The Namesake’ nonetheless works very well as a glimpse into both Indian culture (think Calcutta, not Native American) and the meaning of family. This is due to a few stellar performances but primarily to novelist Jhumpa Lahiri, who seems to have an innate sense of how to tell an engaging tale. The story here concerns two generations of one family and the struggle to retain the culture of home after transplanting to the United States. Irfan Khan and Tabu are simply incredible as the immigrant parents, but it is Kal Penn (of 'Harold and Kumar...' fame) whose unexpected depth is the nicest surprise here. While it could have easily turned out preachy, ‘The Namesake’ at its best moments feels much like a highbrow soap opera. As its pacing drags and running time drones, however, it begins to feel like a miniseries watched in one sitting.

MAYBE SO (6/10)

MURDERBALL

This movie is certainly heartwarming, but it immediately lets you know that its subjects would kick your ass for calling their stories heartwarming. Whether true or not, this documentary about quadriplegic rugby feels like it lets the subjects be themselves without manipulation. Because the players are so competitive and have so much at stake, Murderball works as a simple sports movie. The fact that the players are in wheelchairs soon becomes secondary to the fact that they are fascinating people, and that’s essentially what makes the film a success.

MAYBE SO (7/10)